Become Her Slave!

My once-vanilla wife now loves keeping me as her chaste slave. Learn how to get some Femdom in your life too!

Thursday, 27 December 2012

Chinese chastity devices!

China, it seems, is awash with male chastity devices. There are lots of suppliers, but only a handful of actual device types, many of which - intriguingly - have model numbers.

I've been looking at metal chastity devices from China!


For example, here's the A080:
"The A080  Male Chastity Device"
Intriguingly, one supplier describes it as "short for Asian penis". Have Chinese men discovered the chastity fetish? Or is this something rent boys where in the Far East?

Then there's the A081:
"The A081 Male Chastity Device"
This fits more standard sized dicks. For the well endowed there's the M500...
You'll notice that it has a system for connecting the cage to the ring. "science.in.a.cage" has a nice review of the M500  male chastity device (he calls it the "Chinese bird cage"). In his case the chrome broke down and he had to give up using the device.

Chrome is an issue with Chinese import devices - some people are intolerant to it, sometimes it comes off leaving jagged edges. However, some suppliers are adamant that their devices are stainless steel. At least one supplier goes to great trouble to tell you how to identify stainless steel:
Identification of stainless steel

1,when you receive the product, please use the weapon (such as blades, screwdrivers, nail clippers, etc.) in the product does not affect the use of obscure or where a little hard to draw a mark, shown in Figure 1, if the paint marks, the products appear on the right this brass, to prove the product surface plating...(read more)
Of course this could be BS. However, since very similar devices in stainless steel turn up in European and American sex shops, I'm fairly sure that at least some of these devices aren't  chrome or - God help me - pewter.


Finally, there are terrifying devices, such as this "Male Boundage chastity Short Cage Urethral Tube Gimp GAY BDSM Fetish":
"Male Boundage chastity Short Cage Urethral Tube Gimp GAY BDSM Fetish"
 Um. No thanks! However, where did they get the idea? It looks oddly like a cheaper version of the Looker 02 from Steelworxx.

Chinese chastity devices; real, or fake?

Search one portal and you'll see some very recognizable male chastity devices, some in metal, some in silicone. Are they real or fake?

Some must be counterfeits... but there are reports that some counterfeit CB6000's are less prone to splitting than originals. On the other hand, are the splitting CB6000s actually counterfeits as well?

Some probably reuse original molds, like the endless versions of Bon4/Birdlocked. Too bad for the original designer - I've been pirated once, and it made me mad.  Or is the story more complicated?

Some, like the monster above, are at least... inspired by original Western designs.

However, a good many turn out to be what Western sexshops have been quietly repackaging as their own; when the lights go on and we can see where things are really made, the "Errant Knight's Night Cage"  from www.XXXbigmanuniquechastityworkshop.co.uk (made up site name at time of writing) turns out to be something like "Gimp Fetish Male Chastity Device Number 27" from a factory somewhere near Shanghai.

It's a bit complicated...

What qualifies as real and fake anyway?

In the case of Chinese chastity devices, "fake" and "real" turn out to be relative terms.

Ignore the issue of patents and copyrights, and it's down to design and quality. It's real if the design is relatively secure and comfortable, and the quality acceptable.

Some market leaders in the Western fetish world actually consistently fail this standard!

As for chastity devices from our Chinese friends, it's down to manufacturers, batches and ultimately the quality control of the individual shop - buyer beware!

There may be something to be said for sticking to more local middlemen in the hope that the markup represents quality control - one UK couple have a nice review of what looks like a device of Chinese origin (but for all I know could have come out of a workshop in Birmingham, England).

The future is chaste

Whatever the quality, the fact that Chinese factories are churning out male chastity devices is a good omen (but goodness knows what they think of us!).

It means there's a large enough market to support competition - perhaps driven by a nascent gay subculture of "locked bois". This competition should lead to some very effective CBs. It also means - since ultimately they want our money- that we can expect the Chinese to be shipping some high quality low cost cages and belts within the next few years.

Me. I'm tempted. I'd rather buy a Mature Metal device. But since I don't have the budget... I'll let you know how it goes...

For spicing up your sex life with some male chastity, see my Femdom self-help guides....

Monday, 10 December 2012

Does BDSM ever really take over a marriage?

Kinky couples seem to become more rather than less kinky over time.

BDSM gets around most of the issues that
get in the way of vanilla passion
Even if the intensity hovers round about the same level, the ratio of kink to vanilla in the bedroom usually shifts in favour of the kink.

At first glance, it looks as if the BDSM - OMG!  Like a sinister erotic mind parasite! - takes over marriages.

But, how much sex would the couple be having without the BDSM?

Married couples don't have as much good sex as we'd like


Most of us go through dry patches. Something like 15% of us  have drifted into sexless marriages. The average for people in general in their 40s is supposed to be about once a week, but that means something like half of us are having much less sex than that.

How much of it is good sex?

How truthful are people being anyway?

Poke around online - listen to the jokes people tell at work and in the bar - and you find the default assumption is that married couples don't have much sex at all. It's commonplace for couples to slip away on second honeymoons and find other ways to rekindle the passion. Look at all the vanilla self-help sex guides on Amazon.

No, the sad truth is that marriage and lovemaking are structurally incompatible - for reasons of Evolutionary Psychology, delightful intimacy gradually destroys excitement. Unless you are part of a drama-prone relationship, the longer you are together, the less good sex you will have.

Married couples simply don't have as much good sex as we'd like. 

The war against bedroom boredom is unwinnable and unsustainable


This structural  incompatibility explains why many vanilla couples are locked in an intermittent war against bedroom boredom: try this spice, try that form of yoga, go to this class, escape for romantic weekends...

Some couples enjoy this as an adventure or a hobby. Others don't have the time and the energy. And, I bet, most end up feeling discouraged and ultimately self-conscious.

After all, it's like fighting coastal erosion. Doable, but not winnable.  You can build a house on the edge of the storm-battered cliff, but don't expect it to be there in the Summer! Passion can never become routine, or it would not be passion.

This war is not really sustainable at any intensity. Sooner or later, most couples must give up and accept that sex will only be exciting once in a blue moon, drift into joining that 15%, or simply split.

So, BDSM is a replacement for marital passion, not an alternative


BDSM gets around most of the issues that get in the way of vanilla passion:
  • Taps different areas of evolutionary psychology: Capture bonding, and conditioning get around the whole "in the mood" problem for the sub. Consensual exploitation gets around the same problem for the dom, e.g. "this isn't sex this is slave-assisted masturbation".
  • Generates excitement by tackling it directly: You can't revisit the thrilling fear of that first kiss, but the prospect of a whipping can make sex feel dangerous again. In general, BDSM creates distance, which restores excitement.
  • Eroticises bad sex: A lot  of subs want to be used, exploited and denied. Throw in a power relationship and a chastity belt, bad sex becomes darkly kinky sex.
So when it seems to take over, isn't BDSM really just occupying the space left by the inevitably retreating vanilla sex? Aren't kinky couples really choosing, not between kink and vanilla, but between kinky sex or no sex.

For adding some BDSM to your sex life, see my Femdom self-help guides....