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| "You can kneel in the corner, slave, while I masturbate. "Find out how to get some of this in your life! |
I put the now-cool casserole into the fridge and hurry back to the bedroom ready to turn in.
Xena looks up from her book. "You can kneel in the corner, slave, while I masturbate."
"Oh god," I blurt. "It's during the week. That's going to cost me 2 days."
A few weeks ago we agreed new rules. I get to masturbate privately every Monday during the day.
However, if Xena has an orgasm, it puts back my masturbation day as follows:
Chastity Rules Controlling My Orgasm
- If I'm in the room, 1 day.
- If I get to watch, 2 days.
- If I'm involved, 3 days.
- If I get to use the strap on, 4 days.
- If it's during the week, double.
- No masturbation in the weekends.
- If I do ejaculate by some means, that's borrowing my orgasm from the future.
For me it's more complex.
During my 150 day denial, there was a period when Xena was too tired or stressed for erotic or sensual activity and I felt utterly neglected, as if my sexuality had been parked, as if the joke was on me.
It turned out not to be and we had an amazing week of Femdom and I still grin when I wake up and find myself locked in my chastity device.
Even so I wanted to set up a system that was sustainable and self correcting and didn't make me feel like an idiot. This way, low periods are enlivened by the prospect of me getting to masturbate, and there is the strong possibility that Xena will be tempted into more regular orgasms, just like right now...
"I didn't even get to come properly on Monday," I add ruefully. It's true. I managed to kind of peg myself to more of an ejaculation than an orgasm.
"I don't care. Go kneel."
And I do.
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| The demerit system doesn't remotely feel like a game anymore... Find out how to get some of this in your life! |
Disobeying, arguing, wheedling are all unthinkable, and Xena has taken to casually handing out demerits during seemingly vanilla time. Not properly completing any one room? 2 demerits. Grumpy in the morning due to headache? 3 demerits. Late coming to bed? 1 demerit.
The demerit system doesn't remotely feel like a game anymore, if it ever was.
She glances my way - that's new - then it's her default under-the-covers wank, not the pyrotechnic exhibitionism I "enjoyed" earlier in the month. There's not much to see, just her hand making her breast quiver, and all I can hear is the click click of her Kindle as she flicks through whatever porn she's getting off to.
Meanwhile, I kneel in the corner ignored, as invisible as if I were spying on her through a keyhole.
Playing voyeur on a private moment more than makes up for the unshowy masturbation going on under the covers. After all, this is how most women must get off when there's no audience: no rose petals, warm clothing, comfy bed, reading glasses if needed...
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| Perhaps deep down part of my fetish life comes from the feeling that female sexuality is emasculating. Find out how to get some of this in your life! |
And then I realize that this is costing me two more days without an orgasm!
Perhaps that's why she's doing it -- that glance? -- or perhaps she just fancies a quiet frigging session. It doesn't matter. The thing that's turning me on is also eroding my own capacity to masturbate.
Perhaps deep down part of my fetish life comes from the feeling that female sexuality is emasculating. Now things are set up in our bedroom so this is almost literally true. The feeling or aroused panic is... exquisite.
Xena puts away her kindle. "You may come to bed, slave."
As I slip under the covers, I say, "That puts things off to Wednesday."
"Too bad," says Xena. "Good night."
Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her.
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