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Monday, 29 September 2014

Our Female Led Relationship Contract

I didn't honestly expect Xena to want one of these. However when I suggested it, she told me to go ahead and write one. I stuck to describing what we already had. She read it last night and approved it - of that, more later - so here it is...

Giles and Xena's Female Led Relationship Contract

Our Female Led Relationship Contract
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This document sets out the terms of our Female Led Relationship (FLR).

This comprises:

  • The Core FLR which is indivisible and all or nothing when in effect.
  • Standing Orders, which Xena may change on whim, as long as they don’t affect the core FLR.

The Female Led Relationship remains in effect between pre-specified milestones. (The next milestone as of September 2014 is New Year’s Day 2015.) Except in exceptional circumstances, neither of us will revisit the decision between milestones. However, we may suspend elements of the arrangement for practical and privacy reasons, such as visits with friends or relatives.

On reaching a milestone, Xena will alone decide whether the FLR will continue, though Giles may make his views known.

The FLR is a secret. Giles may only discus it with those friends who already know about his blog, unless otherwise instructed by Xena.

Core Female Led Relationship

This describes the core FLR which is indivisible and all or nothing when in effect.
We both recognize that Xena is at present the
dominant partner in the relationship and that
both of us are happy with this arrangement.

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We both recognize that Xena is at present the dominant partner in the relationship and that both of us are happy with this arrangement.

Xena has formal control over all matters domestic and intimate with powers of discipline and reward. In addition, when he has measurable professional (e.g. word count) or personal objectives (weight loss), Giles will report these and negotiate targets and penalties.

We will both treat the core FLR as real and normal, accepting any inconveniences as inevitable.

Power and Responsibility

Xena has specific permission to arrange things to suit herself, with no obligation to be fair or realistic. Giles will obey to the best of his ability. In return, Xena will take ownership of the FLR and avoid any implication that she is humoring him.

Giles will use his initiative and provide help and advice as appropriate. Xena will make her wishes known clearly and explicitly. Giles will avoid over-sharing with Xena, but may blog about his adventures.

Domestic Matters

Giles will housekeep to as high a standard as possible, consistent with professional commitments. In particular, he will finish those jobs he starts, maintain the bathrooms to a visitor-ready standard and keep the refrigerator etc stocked.

Intimate Matters

The chastity device never comes off during erotic and
sensual couple activity.

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Giles may not initiate erotic intimacy neither directly or by implication but may remind Xena to set aside intimate time.

Xena has control over Giles’s orgasms but will not normally be present when they happen. He must wear a chastity device when on his own and at night. The chastity device never comes off during erotic and sensual couple activity.

By default, Giles may masturbate every Monday on his own, during the day. However, each of Xena’s weekend orgasms puts back his next orgasm day as follows:
  • She masturbates while he kneels in the corner – 1 day
  • She masturbates while he watches with a clear view – 2 days
  • He helps to bring her to orgasm – 3 days
  • He brings her to orgasm using a strap-on dildo – 4 days.
Xena’s orgasms Monday through Friday cost double. Giles may not masturbate during the weekend. Should Xena wish, she may offer Giles an orgasm in whatever manner and with whatever tariff she chooses. Should Giles ejaculate spontaneously, the tariff is at least 7 days and 20 demerits.

Giles is responsible for maintenance of all sex toys. If the chastity device breaks, he must wear the backup one continuously where practical, minimizing removals so as to avoid wearing it out.


Discipline, Punishment and Rewards

Xena may discipline Giles as she sees fit
as long as punishment is in the spirit of
the mistress-slave relationship.

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Xena may discipline Giles as she sees fit as long as punishment is in the spirit of the mistress-slave relationship.

Xena may assign one or more demerits for any reason. At her convenience, she will punish Giles with at least one stroke of a whip per demerit. The whipping will hurt and be a genuine deterrent. Giles will usually be restrained for this.

We will both treat the discipline system as real. Xena will administer whippings as regularly as practical. Giles may remind her.

Xena may also grant Slave Points. These do not cancel out demerits. However, Giles may petition to trade these for perks, for example Xena wearing stockings during punishment.

Demeanour and Bedtime Ritual

Giles accepts that he will often be
bored and frustrated. 

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Xena may behave as she likes. However, she will normally give explicit instructions and hand out demerits whenever Giles irritates her or makes her cross.

Giles will range from normal but compliant husband through to semi-mute slave. In slave mode, Giles will refer to Xena as “mistress”.

He will try to anticipate Xena’s mood, however she will also tell him what she wants. Giles will not make his stupid-lust-struck look.

At bedtime, Giles will be clean, clean-shaven and ready for bed. He will kneel patiently in the corner until Xena orders him otherwise, returning there between tasks. If Xena falls asleep while Giles is kneeling, he may change position but must otherwise remain in the corner.

Attitude and Expectation

Giles accepts that he will often be bored and frustrated. In return, Xena agrees to not reference that this is what he signed up for, and to avoid making him feel foolish or dirty except for erotic effect.

Giles notes that Xena is not selfish by nature. She in turn notes that to submit this fully requires strength of character.
Giles notes that Xena is not selfish by nature. She in turn notes
that to submit this fully requires strength of character.

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Appendix: Current Standing Orders

This sets out standing orders, which Xena may change on whim, as long as they don’t affect the core FLR. The following are in effect:

  • Giles must close cupboard doors.
  • Giles must weigh himself every weekday morning and record the result.
  • When drafting erotica, Giles must manage four thousand words a day.
  • Giles must not be bad tempered. 


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5 comments:

  1. Very nice!

    I'm a rules-perv, and our earlier rulesets were full of details and contingencies. The newer ones, that Jalan writes, are closer to this in spirit, if not detail.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, it's a very male thing to come up with a 100 page manual, isn't it?

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  2. The whole premise of a contract seems to conflict with "getting her to be a vanilla dominatrix." I would think all the rules, orgasm math etc. would scare her away from the idea. Is this something that you're able to do since you've been at it so long?

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  3. Yes. I think most of it works because it describes what we already do. It's really to get her to take ownership of our shared kinkiness so I don't have to worry that she'll grow impatient, e.g., with me kneeling in the corner.

    The orgasm rules... well they are something I administer. The main thing for her is that her orgasms adversely affect mine, which is a simple thing.

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