Thursday 25 September 2014

Wearing a chastity device 24/7 (and Xena talks about how she likes to whip me)

...a rare sleepy intimate chat about Femdom.
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The other night I we have a rare sleepy intimate chat about Femdom. I remind Xena of this conversation:
"I feel I have to ask your permission not to belt up."
It is not always easy to settle down to sleep in a chastity device
when you're sharing the bed with a beautiful woman you love.
"Too right," says Xena.
"So," I continue, risking pushing a little. "I've been wearing the Holy Trainer most nights, but what are the rules?"
"Where it whenever it's needed," says my wife.
I chuckle. "You need to be more specific than that."
"At night," says Xena. "Otherwise you might masturbate - which is how this all started."
"What? Oh." This is news to me. "And during the day when on my own?"
"Yes," says Xena.
"OK," I say, 
"See," I say into her back.  "You do forget things."

Her laughter comes through the dark of our bedroom. "Well sometimes I get ideas on the spur of the moment and don't always remember later."

"That's fine," I say. "But that's how I've been living since then, and when you said you didn't care about the day, you made me feel like a middle-aged pervert."

She likes beating me, but only when it
makes some kind of sense.

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Amusement bubbles through her voice. "But you are a middle-aged pervert. But OK. Sorry. That is what I wanted."

"Are we still talking sexy things?" I ask.

"Go on..."

"Well I wondered..."

Xena finds this funny. I'm much less forthright these days, I guess. "Go on, spit it out!"

"Well, you know how you like beating me...?"

"Yes...?"

I squirm. Her casual admission turns me on horribly.

"Would you ever like to just beat me? I mean no demerits. Just..."

"No. That would be weird. Though sometimes if I feel like it I do add extra."

We chat around it. She likes beating me, but only when it makes some kind of sense. It has to be punishment, not just for the hell of it -- confirmation that the demerit counter was a very good idea.
It's odd wearing a chastity device
24/7 through all the ins
 and outs of normal life.

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Moments later, she's asleep and I'm lying there in the dark, hard inside my chastity device.

It's odd wearing a chastity device 24/7 through all the ins and outs of normal life.

It's certainly not erotic. I mean most of the time I don't notice the Holy Trainer 2 is there. When I do notice it, it's frankly comforting. So much so that when I had to escape to for my midweek swim I actually felt a mounting sense of panic.

Slave Giles only existed in the
bedroom...

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Possibly I was nervous of breaking the £100 sex toy -- remember I have to warm the ring to bend it back, and that's only going to work a few times. However that sense of nervousness has blended with the psychological barrier against pull-out. Some of this is bound up in Xena clearly wanting me chaste, even though she doesn't always "own" that thought. The longer I spend locked up, the harder it is to contemplate removing the chastity device.

What it is most certainly is a blurring of identities.

Once upon a time, there was a Slave Giles and a Regular Giles.

Slave Giles only existed in the bedroom, then around the house for sexy weekends, then in the house all the time and if we went off together. Slave Giles listened to different kinds of music, didn't read the kind of manly thrillers Regular Giles like, didn't do man stuff in general except home improvement...

Now it turns out that they are the same person. I'm typing this listening to Guns 'n Roses. In a little while I'll go shopping. I might meet a friend for coffee... and I'm still the same person. Some processing to do, I think.


Don't resign yourself to just getting off on other people's adventures! When we started out, my wife was vanilla. Use my manuals to help you walk the same Femdom path! There's one for him, and one for her

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